13 years on
by ghfriends
Summary: About the friends lives 13 years after the end. I felt it would be interesting to see the way the friends lives are with Emma reaching 15 and the twins reaching their teenage years as well. Constructive criticism is welcome as i want to improve the story, so please review. Hope to update every Saturday. Please read past Chapter 1, I know ep 1 is bad.
1. The one with Emma's crush

Friends 13 years on.

The one with Emma's crush

Update

Set 13 years after "The last one". Ross and Rachel married again a year after the last one. Monica and Chandler are still happily married as are Phoebe and Mike. Phoebe and Mike have had 2 children, Ellie is 8 years old and Sam is 5. Ross and Rachel had another child called James, who is now six.

Rachel: Emma, drop that phone for two seconds and come eat some food.

She looked around, where is he gone?

Rachel cont: Ross, I know that your excited that Ben isn't Gay after a childhood with two Lesbians and is now dating a model, but there's food going cold on the table. Your son is 21 and unemployed so I think that he has enough free time to talk to you later.

Rachel (leaning out the door) : Jamie, honey, come inside for some food

2 minutes later, Rachel had rounded up the two males, who had already begun to tuck into her speciality, frozen food. Emma was still not downstairs though so Rachel went upstairs to find her. As she walked in she could see that Emma was talking on her iPad to a boy. She examined him briefly, he had short blonde hair and looked about Emma's age. Just for a second as he adjusted his screen she caught a glimpse of his muscular arms. Her examination was cut short when Emma turned round,

Emma: Hi, Mum, I was just explaining the P.E homework that we got.

Rachel: P.E Homework?

Emma: Yeah, I'm doing an exam in P.E remember.

Rachel: Oh, yeah. You look like me but you can do sporty things and catch.

Rachel thought for a moment.

Rachel: But you two have been up here for two hours chatting, you could have done the homework and let him copy it in that time!

"Fair enough." Emma replied. "bye Matt, see you tomorrow!" Emma closed the chat on her iPad and put it down before turning to her mother.

"Tomorrow? That's a Saturday! Has somebody got a date?" Rachel teased her daughter.

Theme Song

Emma: Yeah! He's so cute and smart and he's such a nice guy! He's the kid that beat up Sean Jackson after he called Alice Razowski a stupid, Brainless Slut!

Rachel: I can see why that kid had to go to hospital then. That kid has bigger biceps that your father.

Emma: Is that hard? Gran has bigger biceps than Dad!

Rachel: Hey! That's my husband you're talking about!

Emma: Twice!

Rachel: Lets ignore that topic and move on, I heard his name was Matt, what else is there for me to know?

Emma: His family is British, but he has lived in Australia since he was 9. He moved here in September. I first met him at school a few weeks before the holidays, and now he's been here for 4 months. Mr Watson asked me to help settle in because I'm quite popular but don't annoy him.

Rachel: How did you guys start wanting to go out then?

Emma: We were in Spanish today and our teacher asked us to describe certain people and Matt got asked to describe me and he said "Emma es un poco pequeña y muy guapa" which means he said I was quite small and very hot or beautiful!

Rachel: Then what happened

Emma: I saw him after class and said 'Matt, do you really think I'm beautiful?' and he said that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. So I said 'You know how we've been great friends for the last four months, well how would you feel about being more than that?' And he said that it would be the best thing in the world.

Rachel: That's so cute, but I thought you said that you didn't want to get involved in this dating madness?

Emma: I know, but this is different, this isn't just dating for dating's sake kind of thing, this is something that I hope will turn out really special. He's the perfect guy for me. And he hasn't wanted to go into it either. We're kind of in a bubble.

Rachel: That's great! One question though. Why has he never been here before if you two have been best friends for 3 months?

Emma: Because I thought dad would freak at the thought of a boy coming round at all, even as a friend.

Rachel: I know sweetie, but I'm sure he'll see what a nice boy Matt is and he'll be more comfortable. We need to eat now so come downstairs.

At the table

Ross: He seems nice. But if he...

Rachel: Ok Ross, firstly he's a nice boy so he won't hurt her, and secondly you probably couldn't take him.

Ross: OK point taken. Now lets hear about Jamie's Basketball game yesterday

Rachel: You two can talk about basketball, I want to talk about new boyfriend.

Ross: OK then, you two do that.

Rachel: So what haven't you told me yet?

Emma: Oh yeah, he's really good at English sports like soccer and cricket so he has to do some of his practical outside of school.

Rachel: Ok so there isn't much then?

Emma: No, not really.

Rachel: OK, how many sports do you do again?

Emma: 4.

Rachel: What's he doing?

Emma: He's definitely doing Soccer, cricket, basketball and Ping-Pong. I was going to do Soccer, Volleyball, tennis and Badminton but he said that he could teach me how to be good enough at table tennis to get a higher mark at it than I could get in badminton.

Rachel: That's so nice.

At a restaurant in New York

Phoebe: To long and happy marriages!

Monica and Mike: Agreed.

Chandler: And to great sex!

Phoebe and Mike laugh.

Monica: Chandler Bing!

Monica hits Chandler on the head

Chandler: Ow!

Monica: I can hit you a lot harder!

Chandler: Please do! Just save it for later. (Chandler raises his eyebrows).

Monica precedes to hit him harder.

Mike: I love seeing you two together! You're so funny to watch when Chandler makes a joke.

Phoebe: I know. Aren't sympathy sex based relationships great!

Mike: As are dates where two people agree to set each other up and one forgets so picks a random guy!

Phoebe; Good old Joey!

Monica: It wasn't sympathy sex!

Chandler: Yes it was.

Monica: OK

Chandler: But it was the best sympathy sex either of us will ever be involved in!

Monica: I know!

Mike: Should we order dessert then?

At the Gellers

Emma: Mmmmm! That was delicious! Wal-Mart must have done a great job with that one!

Ross: Now Emma! No need to be so rude.

Rachel: When have I ever messed it up?

Emma: Beef?

Rachel: OK I can't cook! At least I have a career! Some people don't get the chance!

Emma finishes her food and puts her plate in the dishwasher.

Emma: That was such a lovely meal though! Thank you!

Rachel: Thank you Emma!

Emma: I was talking to the Microwave!

Ross spits out a mouthful of food

Rachel: OK, the fun's over now!

Emma: Mum? Can I ring uncle joey to tell him my news? He'll be so happy to hear about Matt!

Rachel: I don't know honey, I think he's busy.

Emma: What's he doing then?


	2. The one with Joey's move

The one with Joey's move

 _Joey is sat on a couch in a room full of boxes next to a woman that looks about five years younger than him. She has light brown hair and Brown eyes._

Joey: Are you sure you want to give it up? You could sub-let it if you want?

Alisha: No, if I'm moving in with you then I need to move on.

Joey: Listen Ally, your Grandma lived here for years. I remember how hard it was for Monica to give up her apartment that used to belong to her Grandma.

Alisha: I'm ok, it's only an apartment. It'll be so fun to live next to your friends as well! One question though, why does Chandler call your place the Hitler's?

Joey: It's a joke from when they were looking at houses to live in. They were looking at mine as well and ... you know what, ask him to say it when you see him next, its one of his favourites.

Theme song

5 minutes later Erica walks in next to Jack, with Sam trailing behind.

Erica: Uncle joey! I'm bored!

Jack: Yeah, we've been doing these boxes for over an hour now.

Joey: Listen guys, I need you to help me with Alisha's boxes so she can move into my place. And after all you get a Joey special when you're done!

Jack and Erica: Yes!

Ellie(also walking in): What's that?

Joey: Do you two not know what a Joey special is?

Ellie and Sam shake their heads.

Joey: What's a Joey Special Jack and Erica?

Jack and Erica: Two Pizzas!

Alisha: Joey, you're so great with kids. And so great with Adults too..

Joey: I know, and you're so great at..

Erica: Eewww! Get a room you two!

Joey: We do have one, we want to move in but we need to get the boxes their!

Erica (Imitating Joey): We do have one , we want to move in but we need our slaves to take them their!

Phone begins to ring

Alisha: Got it. (On phone) Hi, yeah OK. It's for you Joey, I think it's Emma.

Joey(on phone): Hello?

Emma: Hi Uncle Joey its me!

Joey: Hi Emma.

Emma: What are you up to?

Joey: Not much, just got my slaves moving some boxes

Emma: Who are your slaves?

Joey: All the other kids

Emma: Cool, anyway I called because, I've got great news!

Joey: Your dad didn't call himself Dr Geller when he met someone!

Emma: No, better!

Joey: What's the guys name?

Emma: What?

Joey: I assume you met a Guy?

Emma: How did you know?

Joey: It's pretty obvious! Anyway, what's he like?

Emma: He's so cute, he's smart, he's strong, and he thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!

Joey: Nice, do you think he has a big Penis?

Emma: Stop it! I don't know yet, and I probably won't know until I'm about 25 considering my dad's rules!

Joey: Hey! If you stay together for a long time then who would he be to judge?! He had a child with someone he wasn't even dating, said the wrong name at the altar and married a Lesbian! I don't think he can judge you whatever you do!

Emma: Wow Joe! That was a really smart and well thought out argument!

Joey: Especially since everyone thinks I'm stupid.

Emma: You're not stupid Joey, you're just academically challenged.

Joey: Stop it you! You know I don't speak that much Italian! I only know the rude ones!

Emma: Um, Uncle Joey that wasn't.. er..

Joey: Wasn't what?

Emma: Don't worry Joe.

Joey: OK Emma, My slaves have stopped working so I need to sort them out so, bye!

Emma: Bye Uncle Joey!

Joey puts the phone done.

Alisha + Kids: What was it?

Joey: Emma's got a boyfriend!

Erica and Allison: Oh Cool.

Jack: OK.

Sam and Ellie: Eewwww! Gross!

Joey: if those two turn out gay who should we blame?

Alisha: They're little kids

Joey: So what? I had sex with my teacher in fifth grade!

Alisha: It's OK Joey, you..

Joey: It was more the than OK! She had the biggest..

Alisha begins to look angrily at Joey

Joey: Right! You're not Chandler, you're my girlfriend!

Alisha: It's ok Joey!

Joey: Thanks, and kids, ten more minutes of tidying and we get Joey specials!

At the Gellers

Rachel: I'm off to get ready

Ross: Don't go now, you've got ages and I was hoping we could see what's on TV for a bit.

Rachel: OK, just for ten minutes.

Ross: I don't know why you need to get ready, you look beautiful now.

Rachel: Awww, thanks Ross. I still need to get ready though.

Ross: OK, come watch TV for a bit

Emma walks in.

Emma: So Matt's going to pick me up at 8 from Joey's so we can go out, yeah?

Rachel: Yes, sweetie. Then he needs to get you back here by midnight, ok?

Emma: OK.

Rachel: That's a really nice dress honey, when are you going to put your make-up on?

Emma: I'm not.

Rachel: Why?

Emma: Because I was chatting with Matt earlier and he said that I looked so beautiful without it on that I shouldn't put any on at all.

Ross: He's over complementing you and keeps telling you how beautiful you look. I think Matty over there wants some sex! If he starts..

Emma: Shut up Dad, you're being stupid!

Rachel: She's right Ross, you're being way to protective. He's obviously a nice boy so don't be like that about it.

Ross: OK. Sorry I'm being over protective of you, I'm just nervous.

Emma: Thank you for caring so much Dad. Mom, can I change back into some normal clothes for a bit and then change into my Dress again at Joey's?

Rachel: Yes Emma, I'm sure Uncle Joey won't mind. I think its really cool that you two want to make such an effort.

Emma: Thanks Mom

Emma leaves

Rachel: I'm so proud of her! I hope she has a good time. Anyway, I'm off to get ready.

Ross: OK.

At Joey's

Alisha: What time are they coming over Joe?

Joey: I don't know, about 7 I think.

Alisha: Ten minutes then.

Ross, Rachel, Emma and Jamie come through the front door.

Rachel: Hi Guys!

Alisha: Hi Rach.

Ross: I got beer.

Joey: Good man! Chuck them in the fridge.

Ross: OK Joe.

Alisha: Emma, I heard about your Boyfriend, well done you.

Emma: Thanks Alisha, I'm going into town for a meal with him this evening. And congratulations on moving in with Joey.

Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Mike walk in with all their kids.

Alisha: Thanks Emma, I doubt you remember much of when you lived with Joey do you?

Emma: No, but mum always tells me how much fun they had whilst living there. And I still have my 'replica Hugsy'.

Alisha: Yeah, Joey still has that, he wouldn't even let Hugsy be used in bed by both of us if you know what I mean!

Monica: We always know what both you mean! And eewww! We have kids in here!

Alisha: Sorry your Highness, I didn't realise you had come in with Jack and Erica.

Monica: Emma's still here!

Alisha: She's 15 your Highness, she'll soon learn.

Monica: OK! But stop calling me your Highness please, everyone!

Chandler: We're sorry your Highness! It won't happen again your highness!

Monica: One more of them and no sex for a week!

Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't let it happen again. Please forgive me!

Joey (walking past): Your Highness

Mike: That's not fair, you two are talking about sex now!

Monica looks at Mike angrily. He then walks off to speak to Ross shaking.

Monica: Sorry Alisha, anyway where should we leave the gifts?

Alisha: In the living room is fine.

Jack and Erica take their presents to the living room.

5 minutes later

Rachel: anyway, as Emma's got to go soon, I think you should open your presents now.

Alisha: OK cool, which one should I open first?

Joey: Mine is in Rachel's car, they chipped in to help me buy it, And I think you should see it first.

Alisha: OK.

Joey, Rachel and Emma hurry outside.

Alisha(To Ross): Was it quite expensive then?

Ross; Yeah, Joey wanted to get you a proper moving in gift.

Joey walks in.

Joey: Alisha, it means so much to me that your moving in with here. And I thought that I should get you a gift that we could share for years. And so.

Emma passes something to Joey.

Joey: Meet our newest family member.

Joey hands Alisha a small golden Labrador

Alisha: Oh my god Joey! Thank you so much!

Alisha and Joey kiss.

Alisha: Joey, it's beautiful, and I'm so thankful, I'm going to let you name him.

Joey: I know! I've always wanted to call a Dog...

Emma: No Joey, you can't call it Bark Simpson.

Joey: OK, how about.. Barky!

Alisha: Yeah, welcome to the family Barky!

Emma: And we also got Barky this!

Emma hands Alisha a stuffed Rabbit and then Rachel places a Dog bed on the floor.

Alisha: Thanks you guys!

Chandler: Now I feel like the Shepherds in the Nativity story!

Ross: Why?

Chandler: Because one king got Jesus Gold and all the Shepherds got him between them was one Sheep!

Emma: Can I go upstairs and get changed into my dress before Matt gets here?

Joey: Sure you can Emma.

8 O'clock at Joey's.

Doorbell rings. Joey answers the door and a boy about Emma's age is there. Wearing a Slim fit Grey suit and Grey tie with a white shirt. When he speaks he has a mainly southern British accent but with a trace of Australian in his vowels.

Matt: Hi, I'm here to pick up Emma.

Joey: Hi, I'm Joey. Emma your date's here.

Emma: Cool.

Ross, Rachel and Emma walk towards the door.

Ross: She needs to be at our house by midnight, OK?

Matt: Yes, I'll make sure she is.

Emma: Bye!

Joey: Hey, buddy. Get her to order oysters and then she will want to..

Alisha whacks joey round the head

Joey: Ow!

Ross: Thanks Alisha!

Alisha: Your welcome!

End credits

Alisha: Thanks for the presents Guys, should we eat now then

Ellie: Hang on! Me and Sam got Aunt Monica a present, just for being the best aunt in the world!

Monica: Aww thanks you Guys! What is it?

Ellie and Sam give Monica a wrapped up present before running off upstairs.

Monica: I wonder what this is?

Monica tears apart the wrapping. The present was a plastic Tiara. On the inside is a post it note which says "To Her royal Highness."


	3. The one with fireball

_Thanks to my one reviewer, it always helps. I try to use the American words but sometimes i forget! I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Don't worry fans of Phoebe and Mike, they will start to appear more in the next few episodes and i have a Phoebe centric episode coming up at around episode 7-8._

Episode 3 The one with fireball

At Joey's house, Jack and Joey are stood by a marble surface. Joey has just finished reading a 6 page booklet. The paper was deliberately coffee stained to give it an ancient look.

Joey: And so those are the certified rules of Fireball!

Jack: Cool, but won't my Dad be mad if I'm over here doing this instead of something, well, Safe.

Joey: No, your dad would be annoyed if you were over here playing Fireball because he would want to play!

Jack: Really?

Joey: Well how do you think this was invented in the first place?

Jack: Oh yeah, good point.

Joey: It's your Mom that would worried about your safety!

Theme song

Emma and Matt are walking through a New York park

Emma: That place is so nice! We should definitely go there again.

Matt: I know, my steak was Lovely!

Emma: Why do you like it rare? That blood coming out looked disgusting you wierdo.

Matt: Why are your teeth so small?

Emma has a confused look on her face

Matt: Well you just had rabbit food so I thought your teeth should be much bigger!

Emma smiled

Emma: I only had the salad because they were out of pasta. And I need to keep my calories low.

Matt: OK, that's fair.

Emma: I've had such a great time tonight.

Matt: Same.

Emma: it was really fun, romantic

Matt: I would've killed someone if you hadn't liked it.

Emma: Why?

Matt: It cost me 50 bucks.

Emma laughed

Emma: You're such a tight wad

Matt: You're so tight!

Emma stares at Matt

Matt: Too soon?

Emma: No, just rude, I'll show you too soon

Emma grabs Matt and kisses him, they stand there in the middle of the park for 2 minutes.

Matt: Oh, maybe that salad didn't taste so bad

Emma: That steak was done perfectly!

At Monica and Chandler's

Erica: Mom!

Monica: Yes sweetie?

Erica: Aunt Rachel got some really cool shoes, can I get some?

Monica: Why are you copying Aunt Rachel? I would think you would be copying Emma?

Erica: But Emma doesn't wear make-up or high heels very often, she doesn't really care.

Monica: I suppose so, how high are these heels

Erica: 4 inches.

Monica: 4! That's about the size of Dad's..

Chandler walks in.

Monica: Heels!

Chandler: What?

Monica: The heels you got me for my birthday a few years ago

Chandler: Oh OK.

Chandler leaves again.

Monica: I do wonder why Emma doesn't wear make-up?

Erica: It's because she looks so great anyway.

Monica: Hey! You're beautiful too!

Erica: Thanks Mom, but Emma is on another level,'

Monica: Alright for some isn't it? It was the same with Rachel when we were younger. And by that I mean Mid twenties. When I was your age I was fat, so there wasn't exactly much competition.

Erica: For someone isn't actually my real Mom we have a lot in common.

Monica: I know!

In the kitchen

Monica: I keep thinking that we should try and get hold of Erica.

Chandler: I agree.

Monica: But what would the twins be like about it?

Chandler: It would be hard for Erica as well, seeing her children for the first time since they were babies.

Monica: We have time to decide though.

Chandler: Agreed.

In Joey's spare room

Jack: yeah!

Joey: Beginner's luck!

Jack: No I'm just the best

Joey: Rematch!

Jack: You're on!

Joey: And you can have the power gloves for the whole game!

Outside the Gellers

Emma: I had such a wonderful time!

Matt: So did I

Emma: Now listen, there are three things you need to remember when you meet my parents properly:

First: don't stand too close to me

Second: don't mention that we kissed.

Third: Try to mention the fact that my Dad is a Doctor. If you know anything about palaeontology or even just Dinosaurs! Calling him Dr Geller will make him want to get uncle Joey to marry us on the spot. It is the advantage of having a friend who is ordained.

Matt: Is that Oyster guy? I like him.

Emma: Yes, I used to like him, until he said that.

Emma and Matt walk in.

Rachel: Hi guys!

Emma: Hi.

Matt: Hi, Mrs Geller and, well I hear it's Dr Geller

Ross sniggers to himself.

Ross: I'm a doctor.

Matt: OK then, I should get back.

Rachel: Are you sure? You can stay if you want. Do you have 20 minutes?

Matt: I could wait, my parents aren't home anyway.

Matt takes off his Jacket and sits down. Fast and furious 7 is on the TV. Ross and Rachel are sat on the large couch with Rachel's head on Ross' arm. Emma curls up to Matt. Ross begins to get fidgety.

Rachel: Why are you so fidgety Ross?

Ross: Oh, I'll talk to you later.

The final montage finishes. Rachel starts crying. The two cars start to drive down their separate roads.

Rachel cries even more as "For Paul" is written across the screen.

Rachel: That gets me every time!

Ross and Emma start sniffling

Matt: Dr Geller! You can't cry. You should be consoling your Wife and daughter.

Ross: You can do that for Emma then!

Matt: Ok, but I assume you mean making her feel better with nice words not in the way I was hoping you had?

Ross stares at Matt

Ross: Yes.

Emma slaps Matt

Matt: Sorry Emma, guy gotta try!

Ross stares at matt

Matt: Dr Geller, when did you decide that you wanted to become a Palaeontologist?

Ross: I did it as my major in college as a bet. I love it now.

Matt: I can tell

Rachel(sarcastically): Emma! You're going out with a psychic! He realises that your Dad loves Dinosaurs!

Emma(also sarcastically): Really! I thought dad hated dinosaurs! You've enlightened us Matt!

Matt: Are they always like this Dr Geller?

Ross: Yes, but call me Ross

Matt: Cheers Ross.

Ross: Well Dr Ross would be nice...

Matt(sarcastically) Of course I will! Or should I call you Sir Lord Dr Ross Geller of the Mesozoic era of the dinosaurs?

Rachel and Emma laugh

Matt: Anyway, I should be going

Rachel, Ross, Emma: Bye!

Matt puts his Jacket back on and leaves.

Emma: mom, I'm going upstairs

Rachel: Ok sweetie.

Emma leaves

Ross: Did you see the way she curled up to him?!

Rachel: Yes, and?

Ross: They've only been going out for 2 days?

Rachel: And they've known each other for months. When we went out the second time we had sex for God's sake!

Ross: But they're only kids! Emma's not 15 until April.

Rachel: Do you not understand?

Ross: What do you mean?

Rachel: Emma said to me that she dreams about marrying him one day! She wants to grow old with him! This isn't just dating. I'm not saying it will work out, but Emma loves this boy.

Ross: Wow! If it's like that I guess it's Ok.

Rachel: And don't be so tough on him, do you remember what my Dad was like to you until we got married?

Ross: I'm not being that tough!

Rachel: You're not far off.

Ross: I suppose that I could be a bit more supportive.

Joey's spare room

Jack: I have to say, you did blitz me that round.

Joey: Experience will always triumph

Jack: Play again?

Joey: Ok.

In Monica and Chandler's room

Chandler is led on his bed reading the newspaper.

Chandler: "Donald Trump claims Hilary's victory was a fix" of course it was! Whoever decided to vote you in as the opposition obviously wanted Hilary to win!

A loud bang is heard. Chandler rushes downstairs and goes through the inter-connecting door to Joey's. He then goes up into the spare room. He sees Jack and Joe staring at the wall that was previously yellow. It is burned black with some of the plaster on the floor.

Joey: Jack! How many times have I told you to stop playing fireball secretly in my house!?

Chandler stares at Joey.

Chandler: Joe?

Joey: Ok! I taught him fireball!

Theme song

Chandler, Joey and Jack are playing fireball, Monica walks in.

Monica: What are you doing?

Joey: Ok! We are playing fireball!

Monica: I would expect it from you, but Jack! I thought you were mature enough to not play with fire! I would expect it from those two, but you should be cleverer than that.

Chandler stares at Monica

Monica: Chandler and Jack! You two are coming home!

Joey: Hey!

Monica: What Joey?

Joey: That's mean!


	4. The one with Mondler's decision

The song Matt is singing in this episode is 'Nothing' by The Script. Thanks to 4everMondler for the continued support!

Episode 4 The one with Mondler's decision

In Ross and Rachel's kitchen. Chandler and Rachel are sat at the table.

Chandler: So why did you want me to come here?

Rachel: Well, it's Emma and Monica's birthday in two weeks time, and I think we should give them a joint party!

Chandler: What do you want to do for your 15th birthday Emma? I know! Share it with a crazy, obsessive soon to be 49 year old woman!

Rachel: Chandler...

Chandler: ...Yes...

Rachel: She's 48 on her birthday not 49!

Chandler: ...Just testing you!

Rachel: let's move on from the fact you got your wife's birthday wrong, and focus on this party.

Theme song

Joey and Alisha are sat on the couch eating pizza when the phone rings.

Joey: Got it.

Joey(on phone): Hi?

Phoebe: Hi Joey!

Joey: Hi Pheebs! What makes you want to ring during pizza time?!

Phoebe: Oh sorry, anyway Joey, we need to have our monthly dinner soon to talk about what everyone else is doing.

Joey: I agree, tomorrow night?

Phoebe: Mike is coming back tomorrow from his concert, so we were going to have dinner tomorrow.

Joey: Tonight then? It would have to be over by 10

Phoebe: Why?

Joey looks at Alisha

Joey: I'll be occupied from 10 onwards

Phoebe: Doing what?

Joey: Alisha

Phoebe: Ah Ok, I'll see you at 7 30.

Joey: Bye Pheebs.

Alisha: Why do you keep telling your friends that your having sex with me?

Joey: Well I'm not having sex with anyone else...

Alisha: can't you just say you have plans from 10

Joey: they won't believe me unless I say I'm having sex

Alisha: I get that, but why are you so happy talking about sex with them?

Joey: Well I had sex with one with them, and nearly with the other two.

Alisha: Wait! You had sex with one of them?

Joey: Did I not mention that

Alisha: No Joe you didn't. Which one?

Joey: Please don't tell anyone

Alisha; I won't, who was it?

Joey: Rachel.

Alisha: But I thought you guys couldn't?

Joey: We couldn't when we were together, but everyone knows about Ross and Rachel doing it the night before Rachel was meant to leave, well I did it with Rachel the night before that. Please don't tell anyone, especially Ross. Only Chandler knows that it happened!

Alisha: Wow! Why did you do it?

Joey: Well, I was going to ask Rachel if I could move with her, because I still loved her like crazy. But I saw that Ross wanted to make a move so I backed off. Him and Rachel were meant to be together. Part of me did regret it until I met you though. I just thought that Emma deserved a proper family aswell.

Alisha: Wow Joey, your such a good friend to Ross. I know about Monica and the lemonade, but what about Phoebe?

Joey: Well, she offered to do it with me when Rachel rejected me.

Alisha: oh, Ok. Monica and Chandler were sympathy sex so... that could've happened.

In the Gellers kitchen

Rachel: So what are we going to do for the party that Monica likes?

Chandler: Well what does she like?

Rachel: Cleaning

Chandler: Well steady on, we don't want the party to be too wild!

Rachel stares at Chandler

Rachel: Ok, what else does she like?

Chandler: Competing!

Rachel: What could we do that's competitive?

Chandler; I got her a ping-pong table for her birthday, once I've given her that we could play ping-pong

Rachel: Well my gift to her is letting her organise that!

Chandler: When have you paid for anything?

Rachel: I paid half the rent at Joey's!

Chandler(sarcastically): Wow!

Rachel stares at Chandler

Rachel: I'll tell Monica you thought she was turning 49!

Chandler: I'm sorry! Anyway, I should get back, Monica wants to talk about something!

Rachel: Bye.

At a restaurant

Joey and Phoebe are sat at a table.

Phoebe: So that's why I think 'Mondler' are planning something.

Joey: Good work Pheebs!

Phoebe: Thanks! Anyway, how's DOOL going?

Joey: Good, but I'm thinking about leaving.

Phoebe: Why?

Joey: Well, do you remember the way that Jessica got booted off the show?

Phoebe: Yeah I do, you then slept with her!

Joey: Well I think I'm a year or so off that happening, so I'm trying to find something whilst I'm still wanted

Phoebe: Just don't leave yourself out of work, you need to be able to feed Alisha still!

Joey: I know, I'll make sure I've found something before I do it

Phoebe: ok Joey.

Monica and Chandler's room.

Monica: So have you decided?

Chandler: No, not yet, I'll tell you tomorrow

Monica: Really?

Chandler: Yeah, but I think I know already

Monica smiles before kissing Chandler.

At the restaurant

Joey's phone rings

Joey: hang on Pheebs

Joey (On phone): Hi Rach?

Rachel: Hi Joey, do you know how I could get hold of Matt's number without asking Emma? We're throwing her and Monica a joint surprise party.

Joey: If you want a number I would usually ask Pheebs, she has contacts! But I actually have his number so you're in luck!

Rachel: Ok, Cheers Joe. Text me it because I've got to go. I'm trying to get Jamie to sleep

Joey: Ok, bye.

Pheebs: What did she want?

Joey: She's throwing Emma and Monica surprise party and she wants Matt to come. So she wanted his number.

Phoebe: What's Monica organising?

Joey: A ping pong tournament.

Phoebe: If I had to play her I would let her win!

Joey: Why?

Phoebe: Do you know how much one of those ping-pong bats hurt if they hit you?

Joey: Good point!

Joey then remembers something.

Joey: I had to kick the guy out of my apartment yesterday, and I heard Ross say that Ben is moving back to the city, I think I should give it to him.

Phoebe: Oh yeah, why are you so desperate to keep the place?

Joey: It's where I first met Chandler, and I love popping in there sometimes.

Phoebe: Fair enough. I always want to be able to go and see where me and Mike first met.

Joey: What has that got to do with it?

Phoebe: Well Chandler is your boyfriend right?

Joey stares at Phoebe.

Matt's living room

Matt is sat watching England play cricket on the TV with his brother James. Matt is also listening to music with one ear plug in.

Matt(singing) I wanted words but all I heard was nothin'

James: Finn's coming on.

Matt: Good. Come on Steve!

James: I still think Rashid

Matt: Yeah I'd get him on other end though.

James: true

Matt(singing again): And my mates are all there tryna' calm me down, coz I'm shouting your name all over town, I swear that if I go there now, I can change her mind turn it all around. I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words, swear she'll listen this time even though it's slurred...

Emma walks in.

Emma: Thanks Mrs Waterman (she sees Matt) Hello little Danny O'Donoghue, I could hear you from out there!

Matt: Hi babe.

James: I'm going to leave before this turns into a BJ. Tell me how it goes.

Matt: Well she started a bit..

James: I Meant the game!

James leaves.

Emma: What was that?

Matt: Well James has just learned exactly what a BJ entails, so now he won't stop talking about them.

Emma: How old is he?

Matt: He's 14 in may.

Emma: Wow, what you doing them?

Matt: Just watching this.

Emma: Why are you singing through it?

Matt: There's always a small gap in between each ball, so I need something to do for 30 seconds.

Emma: I liked it, you're nearly as cute as Danny.

Matt: He's 37 Em, I'd focus on your second choice.

Emma: Don't be silly Matt.

Matt: Anyway, I need to do some work out whilst watching, so do you want to watch and try to understand everything?

Emma: I'd rather watch you get all cute and sweaty.

Matt and Emma kiss

Matt then begins to warm up on the mat he has placed on the floor

Emma: Why do you do so much exercise? I know I do a lot but you take it to another level

Matt: How else can I burn off 3500 calories a day?

Emma: You could try to limit yourself to 8 slices of bread a day rather than 14!

Matt: No way am I doing that.

Theme song

Monica: You sure? Once we do we can't go back

Chandler: Absolutely, the twins should know where they come from

Monica dials a number into her phone.

Monica(on phone): Hi Erica


	5. The one with the birthday ping-pong

_Thanks to the reviewer that reviewed after the last episode. Constuctive critisism is always helpful! I do understand where you are coming from having read the first four episodes without the context of the next 2. I hope you are still reading and you will start to see why. I have decided to skip the Phoebe episodes as it is kind of difficult to write about. I hope you guys understand and In will try to include P+M more in the episodes. Enjoy the new episode!_

Episode 5 The one with the birthday ping-pong

Matt: So can I come round and see you this evening or am I banned?

Emma: Yeah please do, I'm going to need some fun company. Erica's fun but she can only go so long without talking about shoes, and shoes bore me to death! They only go on your feet.

Matt: I'm so glad I'm with you.

Emma: Why?

Matt: Because your the only soon to be 15 year old girl I know that judges shoes by how comfy they are and how practical they are.

Emma: And I like sweaty Matt.

Matt; And I like all kinds of Emma apart from period Emma.

Emma: Period Emma doesn't exist, your exaggerating. You're acting like I'm like my Mom in the morning.

Matt: Yeah she's not a morning person is she?

Emma(sarcastically): Wow! You think so!?

Theme song 

At Monica + Chandler's

Monica(on phone): Hi Erica, it's me Monica

Erica: Please don't ring me again

Monica: Erica, wait!

Erica: What?

Monica: We want Jack and Erica to see you.

Erica: Really?

Monica: Yeah, Phoebe always said she wanted to know where she came from, and we want to give Jack and Erica the chance to see you.

Erica: Wow, ..um.. Ring me back next week and we'll talk about a place and time.

Monica: Thank you Erica. Bye.

Chandler: When does she want to see them?

Monica: She wants to ring us back to arrange a time. It'll be so hard for her to talk to them. What will she say to them?

Chandler: I think we should speak to Jack and Erica once we have a date, time and a place.

Monica: Agreed, I hope they are nice and forgiving to Her.

Chandler: I'm sure they will be, I think they've been raised well.

Monica: Yeah, differently, but well.

Chandler: Anyway, Birthday girl, Someone's got you dinner reservations.

Monica kisses Chandler.

Chandler: Let's go then.

Monica and Chandler walk out the door. Chandler pretends to lock the door.

Chandler signals to Joey, who is stood in his front yard.

Joey, Alisha, Rachel, Ross, Phoebe and Mike all walk into Monica and Chandler's House. Joey sends a text to Matt saying that Monica and Chandler have left.

1 hour later

Rachel: we're ready!

The whole of Monica and Chandler's living room is covered in signs saying happy birthday Emma and Monica and has party food laid out on the table.

Ross: Right, I'll text Chandler to tell him to come home and be back in 20 minutes

Joey: I'll text Matt.

20 minutes later Monica and Chandler are back at their house, Chandler directs Monica to the kitchen. Emma and Matt walk in about a minute later.

Chandler: Hi Matt, Ross and Rachel are in there. (Points to the living room.)

Monica: Why are they in there?

Chandler: they just wanted to pick them up so they could take Emma somewhere.

Emma and Monica walk into the living room

All: Surprise!

Monica: Wow! You guys actually managed to keep it a surprise this time!

Emma: Thanks you guys.

Matt walks in behind her and kisses her cheek from behind

Emma: You were in on this?!

Matt and Emma kiss.

Phoebe: That kid's going to town!

The camera pans across the faces of all the friends stood there in a line smiling, until it gets to Ross, who is scowling

Rachel(whispering): Cheer up Ross, please, she loves him and they're so innocent.

Ross(whispering back): Innocent? That's about as innocent as Chandler's porn!

Rachel sighs.

Chandler: let's open some presents!

10 minutes later

Emma: Thanks Uncle joey, thanks for everything everyone

Monica is stood by the door, cleaning the few hairs off the floor

Monica: This is the best present ever pheebs! It cleans twice as fast as my other v6 handheld cleaner!

Chandler: Have you noticed something?

Monica: That this cleaner is incredible

Chandler: You haven't had a present from me yet.

Monica(still cleaning): What is it then?

Chandler: I'll go get it.

Chandler walks into the spare room. He returns with a ping pong table

Chandler: Surprise!

Monica: it's great! Can I clean it?

Chandler stares at Monica

Rachel: And Mon, we decided that we are going to play a tournament

Monica: Yeah!

Rachel: And you get to organise it!

Monica runs off upstairs with her label maker.

Ross: Right then Emma, what do you want to do whilst Monica is doing that?

Matt: Will it take that long?

All others: Yes!

Matt: She's like that then, Ok

Emma: How about we have some practice games before Monica's finished organising

Matt: Sounds good.

Emma: I'm not playing you first

Ross: Why don't you want to play him? Are you a little scared Emma?

Emma: You play him first then.

Five minutes later

Rachel: just give up Ross.

Ross: No! I can beat him

Emma: Dad it's 19 points to 3. And 2 of them were when Matt tried to play a shot between his legs.

Ross: Ok, who's next?

Mike: I'll play.

Emma: This will be more interesting, Mike can actually play ping-pong.

After another five minutes

Mike: Well played.

Matt: Well played mate.

Emma: That was a good game, 21-16 to Matt. Matt's not playing anymore though.

Matt: Why?

Emma: Because you're too good!

Matt: Ok.

Chandler: I'll play you Emma?

Emma: We meet again Bing!

Chandler and Emma begin to play.

Chandler: Do you know what would be funny?

Alisha: What?

Chandler: if no-one told Monica Matt was so good!

Rachel: it's her birthday! Don't be so mean!.

Alisha: Come on Rachel!

Rachel: No, it's her birthday

Chandler: You can have some cheesecake

Rachel: Yeah! Lets not tell her!

30 minutes later

Monica: Hi everyone!

Alisha: Hi, your highness

Monica bangs her hands together

Rachel: Done?

Monica: Yes, I seeded everyone so that the best players hopefully end up in the final.

Erica: Who did you seed first?

Chandler shakes his head

Chandler: Who do you think?

Erica: Oh yeah.

Jack: Ok, maybe ask a more sensible question. Who was seeded second?

Monica: I seeded Mike second, Chandler third and Joey fourth. Emma, I put you and Matt 5th and 6th. Is that Ok?

Emma smiles at Matt

Emma: I'm sure that will be Ok.

Monica: Ross, you're 7th, Jack you're 8th. Alisha's 9th, Phoebe is 10th. Then it's Erica 11th and Rachel is 12th.

Chandler: So how do we do the tournament then honey?

Monica: Everyone plays against their opposite number in a knockout game, first to five points. Then the winners go through to 2 groups of 3. The groups will be drawn by Ross.

Ross: Yes!

Monica: All group matches are first to 7 and everyone plays each other once in their group. The top two from each group play in the semi-finals. The semi's are first to 8 and the final in first to ten.

Chandler: Wow honey!

Monica: I think I just got an orgasm over that.

Mike(Covering Ellie and Sam's ears): We have kids here.

Monica: I don't care. Ross, would you like to announce the results after each game?

Ross: Yeah! I love being a presenter guy!

Joey: I have a table at mine, should we use it for half of the matches to save time?

Monica: Ok, Matt and Ross to Joey's, I'll play Rachel here,

After the first round of games.

Ross: So the results are, Monica beat Rachel 5-0, Mike beat Erica 5-0, Chandler beat Phoebe 5-1, Joey beat Alisha 5-2, Matt beat me 5-1 and Emma beat Jack 5-4.

Jack: It was so close to the edge, I would've won.

Emma; I know jack, but i do play for an hour every two weeks.

Jack: Fair.

Ross: The groups are: Joey, Matt and Mike at Tribbiani stadium, and Monica, Chandler and Emma at Bing Stadium.

Rachel: you're way too into this.

Ross: I know, but it's so fun!

Emma: I worry about you dad.

After The group and semi-final games

Ross: In the group playing at the Tribbiani stadium, Matt managed to beat Mike to knock him out in the group, whilst home favourite Joey beat both of them to advance. In the group at the Bing stadium, Monica and Chandler both progressed on point difference over Emma. In the semi's Joey lost to Monica 8-7, and Matt beat Chandler 8-3.

Monica: After that pathetic performance, Chandler, I might have to divorce you!

Chandler(smiling at his feet): I know, losing to a 15 year old is dreadful, anyone who does that is bad at ping-pong.

Monica: I know!

During the Final. 

Ross: With the game tied at 9 points each, the players will toss a coin for serve.

Ross flicks the coin. Both players watch it land.

Ross: Ok, somebody call it

Ross flicks again.

Monica: Heads! No Tails! No Heads!

Ross: Tails.

Monica: What are the chances?

14 points later

Ross: The score is 9-5. Play.

Matt serves, Monica returns it, Matt then smashes it back with power, so hard that Monica doesn't even see it whiz past her.

Monica: No!

Emma: Matt, duck!

A ping-pong bat whizzes past his head

Matt: Wow! They said you were competitive!

Monica: I'm sorry, it just annoys me when people win when they didn't deserve too.

Matt: I know, sometimes the best player doesn't win.

Matt walks towards Emma.

Emma(whispering): How hard were you trying?

Matt(whispering): About 50%.

Emma: I love you.

Matt: So do I.

Matt and Emma kiss.

Emma: Do you know what's weird?

Matt: What?

Emma: My dad said he had a relationship once, where they didn't say they loved each other for months.

Matt: And did it work out?

Emma: No, not at all.

Matt: Precisely.

Theme song.

Matt and Emma are kissing in Monica and Chandler's living room. The others are sat on the couches watching.

Ross: Look at where his hands are.

Chandler(Sarcastically): He's touching her back! Wow that's wild!

Ross: That is so her Ass.

Mike: Stop looking at your daughter's Ass you sick person.

Ross stares at Mike.

Matt and Emma walk over.

Emma: Uncle Joey, we'd like some privacy, can we go to your spare room?

Joey: Sure you guys, I'll have to unlock the door again though.

Emma: Ok.

Ross: So where were your hands when you were kissing my daughter?

Matt: Just on her back Ross.

Rachel: See!

Matt, Emma and Joey walk through the inter-connecting door and close it.

Joey: So where were your hands really?

Matt: Right round her ass.

Joey: Good lad, be careful though, Ross isn't the only one that's protective of Emma. Leave it at kissing whilst you're in my spare room.

Matt: Of course Joe, we don't want to do anything more yet anyway. We don't know what we could be carrying with us.

Joey: ok mate, enjoy yourself.

Matt: Are you kidding? Of course I will.

Joey shuts the door and smiles.


	6. The one with the birth Mother(again)

_new chapter out! The last scene is written by 4everMondler so enjoy that._

Chapter 6 The one with the Birth Mother(again)

In Joey's Spare room

Monica walks in.

Joey: Hey Mon.

Monica: I need to learn his secret, how is he so good?

Joey: Practice Mon. And 3 hours a day of high-intensity exercise.

Monica: I can do that! Lets go Monica!

Monica begins to walk away

Monica: hang on, why did you shut that closet so quickly?

Joey: no reason.

Monica: Chandlers hiding something in there isn't he?

Joey: No Alisha's naked in there Ok! She wants me to stop talking about us having sex but you lot keep bugging me!

Monica: So Chandler's not keeping anyone in there?

Joey: Who would it be? Janice?

Monica: Good point Joe.

Theme Song

At the Hannigan's

Phoebe: How was School kids?

Ellie: Boring!

Mike: She's growing up so fast.

Phoebe: Really? I thought School was always boring.

Mike: Not when you first start, Listen. (Mike turns to Sam) Did you have a good day Buddy?

Sam: Yeah! We read a story about a Bear, Then we did paintings!

Mike: what's yours of?

Sam: It's Mommy shouting at the man on the way to school for driving like a...a...a ducker I think Mommy said.

Mike: that's enough of that then.

Sam runs off to his room.

Mike: Did you say Fucker in front of my Son?

Phoebe: No, I said "ducker"

Mike looks at Phoebe. He then smiles.

Mike: you look beautiful, well, as beautiful as a "ducker" can be.

Phoebe: Well yeah.

Mike smiles at Phoebe again. He then starts to kiss her.

Sam and Ellie walk in without their parents noticing.

Sam: Daddy why is your tongue in Mommy's mouth?

Mike looks round.

Mike: Well she had some food stuck in her throat so I had to get it out.

Ellie: I think Daddy should do some of your lying practice Mommy, with Uncle Joey.

Phoebe: I agree.

At Monica and Chandler's

Monica: That was Erica on the phone.

Chandler: What's happening then?

Monica: She wants to meet for lunch with the kids and us Tomorrow.

Chandler: Cool. You know, I've got 20 minutes before work.

Monica: That's plenty enough time for you.

Chandler: Let's go then...wait Hey!

Monica: Can't deny the truth.

Chandler and Monica go off to their room.

Joey's spare room

Joey: So there are the certified rules of fireball.

Matt: Cool, Shall we play?

Jack: Ok, but I'm playing winner.

Joey: let's go then!

Matt: I might actually lose at something to one of you people.

Joey: you will! I've only lost 6 times in fireball history out of 127 games.

Matt: To who?

Joey: Once to Jack, five times to Chandler.

Matt: Ok then Joe, let's go!

The next day at Monica + Chandler's

Jack: What do you need to talk about? You sounded quite serious.

Monica: Well...um we

Chandler: We have... organised for you to see your birth Mom

Erica: Why?

Monica: Well, she hasn't seen you since you were 2 years old. People should know where they come from. And we know where you come from, so we should tell you.

Jack: All we now about her is that she is called Erica. What else is there?

Chandler: Well not much fact wise that we now of. But she was the nicest person you could ever meet.

Erica: Why do you want such a serious chat then?

Monica: We need to talk to you about when you talk to her.

Erica: Why?

Monica: Because she hasn't seen you since you were 2 years old. Please don't talk about the last time she saw you too much, and if she starts apologising because she left you then you need to say that it was the right thing to do and a very good tough decision. She gave up her own flesh and blood just so you could be happy.

Jack: I understand. I'm so excited to see her.

Erica: So am I, but you'll always be my Mom.

Jack: Yeah, and we'll probably never meet our Father, But Dad, anyone can be a father, it takes someone special to be a Dad.

Chandler and Monica smile. They embrace their kids.

At Central Perk

Chandler, Monica, Jack and Erica are sat waiting at a table, waiting for Erica. Chandler and Monica step up to get some Coffee.

Erica walks through the door, she knows the Children she gave birth to straight away. She runs to them and immediately kisses them.

Jack: Are you...?

Erica: Yes!

Erica Jnr: Oh my God!

Chandler and Monica stand there smiling.

Chandler: They're all so excited.

Chandler begins to walk towards them.

Monica: Wait! Let's give them a moment.

Chandler: I suppose that's best.

Erica continues to embrace her Children. Eventually Monica and Chandler walk towards the Children and Erica.

Monica: Hi Erica!

Erica : Hi Monica. Thank you so much for letting them see me again. It means the world to me that you still want me to see them.

Chandler: well Phoebe always talked about knowing where she comes from, so we know how important this is.

Erica: Remember kids, you shouldn't call me Mom or anything like that. Monica is your Mom really, Chandler is your Dad really. It's like I surro...surro...

Monica: Surrogated?

Erica: I think it's Surrupstalucy?

Chandler: That's my favourite word

Erica: What?

Chandler: Sorry. I meant my favourite word that doesn't exist.

Monica: Sorry about him Erica, he's in is forties but he still hasn't grown up.

Erica: Well done you for still putting up with the jokes.

Monica: Thank you.

Erica: Your welcome.

Monica: How are you then?

Erica: Good. I've got a Job now.

Chandler: What is it?

Erica: I'm working as a waiter at a restaurant in town.

Monica: Which one?

Erica: Alessandro's

Monica: I used to be Head Chef their!

Erica: Oh so your the one that fired that guy that you had just hired? I think his name was Dragon?

Monica: That was Joey, I hired him specially so I could fire him.

Erica: So Joey's a Dragon now?

Chandler reaches for a muffin, he then squishes it into his face in disgust at Erica's stupid comment.

Erica: Why did you do that?

Chandler(sarcastically): Well I was hoping it would turn me into a Dragon as well!

Erica: Where is everyone?

Monica: What do you mean?

Erica: Rachel, Phoebe, um...Science guy and Joey

Monica: Ross?

Erica: You have another friend?

Chandler: No, Ross is science guy's real name, rather than the name he uses to fight crime.

Monica: Ignore him, Do you want a Coffee?

Erica: Yes please.

Monica goes to get Erica some coffee.

Chandler: The other guys all have marriages as well. Apart from Joey, he has a girlfriend though, and they have been together for 5 years now on and off.

Erica: Is she nice?

Chandler: Yeah, why?

Erica: Well why have they been so on and off?

Chandler: Because Joey had to move a couple of times for DOOL, and she didn't want to move with him. They live together now next to ours.

Erica: Wow, I never thought Joey would actually settle down with someone. I had a bit of a crush on him when I first met him. And after I saw the kids for the last time, Joey saw I was upset and did what Joey does best.

Chandler: Eat or the other one?

Erica: No, we had sex

Chandler: That was the other one! What did you think the other one was.

Erica: Well he's really good at sitting and doing nothing.

Chandler: Hey! I'm amazing at that as well!

Monica: What do you want for that? A medal?

At Joey and Alisha's

Joey: I'm sorry I caved again.

Alisha: As much as that performance was pathetic, I'm sorry I put you in the position of lying to your friends.

Joey: It'll be ok soon, Phoebe's been giving me lying lessons.

Alisha: You were having those when we first met, how long have you been having them for?

Joey: 14 years.

Alisha: You'll be a doctor before you can lie Joey!

Joey: Excuse me You're talking to Dr Drake Ramoray.

Alisha: Talking of you being "Dr Drake Ramoray"(air quoting) What jobs are you looking at?

Joey: Some theatre job, and a Job on a brand new soap opera.

Alisha: What's this soap opera about?

Joey: Some guy that travels to L.A to try and make it in acting.

Alisha: That seems a non-starter, It might not last very long.

Joey: Don't worry, I'm only going to be airport guy #7

Alisha: Good long-term job Joe.

Joey: Tell me about your current work.

Alisha: Shut up Joey!

Joey: So how's your current job?

Alisha: What will it take for you to shut up.

Joey: See you in the shower!

Alisha sighs.

At Monica and Chandler's

Monica, Chandler and the twins are sat at the table.

Monica: So how was that?

Jack: Good, I didn't really know what to say though.

Monica: I know sweetie, do you see how nice she is?

Erica: Yeah, we still much prefer having you as our Mom.

Monica: Aww, thanks you guys.

Chandler: I know you haven't met your Dad, but we have done all we can to let you see where you come from.

Jack: We don't need to meet him, we've got our real Dad right here.

Chandler: Thanks guys. I still think of you as ours.

Erica: They always say that you are 50% percent your genes and 50% your environment, but I don't think that's true. I think that your whole personality is your environment. That's why we're so like you guys.

The whole family embrace. Jack then pokes his head out of the hug.

Jack: I love you guys so much.

Monica and Chandler stand up, and smile.

Chandler: We love you two as well. You're perfect for us. Not perfect, but perfect for us. You two don't realise how mature you've become.

Erica: Thanks for being mature enough to make us like that.

Chandler: Thanks.

Jack: Seriously Dad? We were just talking about Mom.

Chandler: That's fair enough.

Ross and Rachel's room

Rachel: I'm so proud of her, finding a guy like that. I mean he's so mature and kind.

Ross: I agree, I can tolerate him.

Rachel: You should try harder to like him, I know that if him and Emma get married in the future then I'll be as happy as I could ever wish to be.

Emma walks in.

Ross: Hi sweetie

Emma: Hi, I'm just coming in to say good night. What are you guys talking about?

Rachel: I was talking about how much I like Matt, your father was talking about how he tolerates him now.

Emma: he's growing on you nearly as much as the green thing in Joey's fridge is growing on it's jar.

Rachel: It's not there anymore.

Emma: Why?

Rachel: Joey ate it

Emma coughs as if she is about to be sick.

Ross: How bad is it?

Emma: Probably how bad you felt when Joey went out with Mom.

Ross: Ewwwww!

Theme Song

At Mondler's house

 _Chandler: Mon, I've done some research. How long ago was your period?_

 _Monica: Two months ago. Why?_

 _Chandler: You may be pregnant, we may get the baby we waited years for._

 _Monica: Okay I'll take the test._

 _She got up without hesitation and he started to undo the buttons on her blouse._

 _Two minutes..._

 _One minute..._

 _30 seconds..._

 _Then the timer went off._

 _Monica stared at the sign that stated she was pregnant; she and Chandler were finally getting the baby they have waited years for._

 _Chandler: You okay in there Babe?_

 _Monica ran out and wrapped her arms around him, holding out the test for him to see_

 _Chandler: Oh my god Mon! Are you really pregnant? We finally get our own baby._

 _Monica just nodded happily._

 _Chandler: I can't believe it, the twins and everyone will be so happy!_

 _Monica: I know!_

 _Chandler: I love you._

 _Monica: I love you too. Now take me in your arms and make hot, passionate love to me._

 _Chandler: As you wish_

 _He carried her like a princess upstairs. Then the screen faded to black._


	7. The one with the shock

AN: Thanks again for the reviews. if i have been making occaisional mistakes then i apoligise, everyone's human. In answer to the last review, i am not sure, i know that "sat at the table" is a common thing to say here, I don't know about in the States. it must be another suttle language difference. thanks for reviewing.

Chapter 7 The one with the shock

Last time on Friends...

Chandler: You might be pregnant

The timer went off.

Chandler: We are going to Finally get our own baby!

Theme Song

In Joey's spare room.

Alisha: I have to admit you were good then, I feel so alive!

Joey: Experience.

Alisha: How many Women exactly

Joey: About 400.

Alisha: What?!

Joey: One every weekend for 11 years is quite a lot.

Alisha: I suppose so. Did you leave the TV on?

Joey: No, why?

Alisha: There's something really loud going on down there.

Joey: I think Monica and Chandler are happy about something, I'll go check.

Joey goes through the door to Monica and Chandler's. He runs upstairs just as Chandler is about to go into his room.

Joey: Wait up man.

Chandler: Monica and I are about to go in there! (Chandler points towards his room). Please can it wait?

Joey: What were you guys screaming about?

Monica: he heard?

Chandler: I guess.

Joey: What is it you guys?

Monica: It'll have to wait until tomorrow Joey.

Chandler: Excuse us a second Joe.

Chandler drags Monica into their room.

Chandler: We have to tell him Mon.

Monica: can't it wait?

Chandler: This is the guy that hid our relationship for months, just to help us out, he loaned us 4000 bucks to help with bills. The guy is my best friend, and one of yours too, he deserves to know first.

Monica: Ok.

Chandler: Come in here a second Joe.

Joey: Sure

Chandler: Sit down a second.

Joey: Ok

Joey sits on Monica and Chandlers bed

Monica: guess what Joe?

Joey: What?

Monica: You tell him.

Chandler: Joey, Monica's pregnant!

Joey: Oh my God you guys!

They hug, Joey begins to cry.

Alisha runs in.

Alisha: What is it?

Joey: Monica's pregnant!

Alisha screams. She then joins the hug.

Chandler: can you two hold it in for an hour? We want to celebrate ourselves first.

Joey: Why an hour not 10 minutes? It's only you.

Chandler stares at Joey.

Alisha: We understand guys, come on Joey.

Joey: But I...

Alisha: I'm just going for a shower. I'm not going to lock the door by the way.

Joey sprints out the door.

Alisha: Bye you guys, I've got to feed Barky and get in the shower with Joey.

Chandler: Bye.

Monica: Anyway, back to sex.

Chandler pins Monica to the bed.

At Matt's house

Emma knocks on the door.

Emma: Hi, Mrs Waterman

Mrs Waterman: Hi Emma, how lovely to see you. Do come in. Do you want a drink?

Emma(walking in): I'm Ok thanks. Is Matt here?

Mrs Waterman: Yes honey, he's just out the back with his brother. Have you met James?

Emma thinks back to when she first came to Matt's house as his Girlfriend.

 _James: I'm going to leave before this turns into a BJ_

Emma: Yeah, we've met before, very mature isn't he.

Mrs Waterman: Yes he is.

Emma walks past Mrs Waterman and out to the back yard. James is bowling a cricket ball at Matt

Matt: Hi Em.

Matt takes his helmet off.

Emma: Ooh! Sweaty Matt...

Emma begins to run her finger up and down his arm.

Matt: I know I'm sweaty, I should get a towel.

Emma: Or you could stay sweaty?

Matt: Ok then.

Matt and Emma kiss

James: Get a room!

Matt: or not!

They kiss again. James walks away in disgust.

Matt: Hey beautiful

Emma: Hey sweaty.

Matt: What brings Senorita Guapa here?

Emma: You text me and asked me to come here.

Matt: Oh, yeah. Come inside.

Matt and Emma walk inside and up into his room.

Matt: Did you notice something on your birthday?

Emma: That you're the best ping-pong player I've ever seen?

Matt: Anything else

Emma: That you got sweaty.

Matt: What did I get you for your birthday

Emma thinks for a moment.

Emma: I can't remember

Matt: That's because I forgot to give my present to you, I was too busy shoving my tongue down your throat to know I hadn't

Emma: Oh, I didn't notice either.

Matt: But I've got it now.

Matt hands Emma an envelope. She opens it.

Emma: 300 bucks

Matt grabs it back.

Matt: wrong envelope, try this one.

Emma opens the envelope. When she sees the contents she screams. Emma pushes matt onto his bed and kisses him.

Emma: How much did these tickets cost you? It's front row at The Script on May 16!

Matt: it really doesn't...

Emma(cutting him off): I won't stop hitting you till you say!

Emma begins to punch Matt on the arm.

Matt: Hey stop.

Emma: how much?

Matt looks at his feet.

Matt: 100 bucks

Emma: That's not too bad

Matt: Each.

Emma: Each! You didn't have to do that.

Matt: yes I did. I love you, and you deserve everything I give you and more.

They kiss again.

Emma: I can't believe I'm actually going to The Script with you.

Matt: I knew you would like it.

Monica and Chandler's

Monica: You are ageing well Chandler Bing.

Chandler: ...Thank You... I guess.

Monica: That was wonderful Chandler Bing.

Chandler: Well I have had sex with over 4 women!

Monica smiles and kisses him again.

Monica: I can't believe that in just under 9 months time I could be having our child!

Chandler: I know.

Monica and Chandler hug again.

Monica: I think we should tell the others now, Joey and Alisha must be bursting.

Chandler: I think they're Ok for 15 minutes.

Monica: What makes you think that?

Chandler: the shower's on.

Monica: Ok, that's fair. Should we go and tell Jack and Erica?

Chandler: Yeah.

Jack's room.

Jack and Erica are sat on the floor

Erica: You so like her!

Jack: No I don't.

Erica: you stared at her for about 5 minutes in gym.

Jack: I stared at everyone apart from you for about 5 minutes in the gym yesterday. You were all wearing really tight uniforms. I could see her nipples. That's not liking someone, that's just me being hormonal.

Erica: I still don't believe you.

Monica and Chandler walk in.

Chandler: Hi guys, can we talk to you for a minute?

Jack: Sure, anything to stop her talking to me..

Monica: You guys know that we're infertile right?

Erica: yeah, that's why we're here, in the best home in the world

Chandler: Well they said there was a one in a hundred chance of us conceiving in our lifetimes.

Jack: Yeah...

Monica: Well its happen!

Jack and Erica jump up to embrace their parents.

Jack: When is it due?

Monica: We're not sure yet, probably around the new year.

Erica: I'm so happy for you guys, it's such great news.

Monica: We're going to the coffee house to meet everyone so we can tell them. Are you two coming?

Jack: Yeah! We love the coffee house. It's so great seeing how you lot wasted your lives before you had families.

Chandler: We probably spent more time in there than at home.

Monica: Do you think Gunther will ever leave that place?

Chandler: no, he was born to make Coffee and love Rachel in the creepiest way possible.

At Central Perk

Phoebe: Why did they tell us all to come here?

Ross: I don't know, It sounded really urgent.

Phoebe looks at Joey

Phoebe: Joey knows!

Joey: I know what?

Phoebe: What they want to tell us about

Joey: Ok, if you want to know from me.

Mike: Yes.

Joey: well there was this Racoon.

They all stare at Joey. Monica and Chandler walk in.

Joey: Thank God! Tell them.

Chandler: Monica, I think you should tell them.

Monica: Ok, here goes, ...I'm pregnant

Everyone runs into a circle and there is a huge group hug.

Phoebe: So who's the father?

The whole group stares at Phoebe.

Phoebe: What? I need you guys to break up in the next 2 months or I owe Joey 20 bucks.

Chandler: I'll pay you 20 bucks to stop you trying to break us up?

Phoebe: deal.

Chandler reaches into his pocket and gives Phoebe a twenty. Phoebe walks off towards Mike and Joey.

Joey: When did we make that bet?

Phoebe: There wasn't a bet Joey. I just wanted 20 bucks.

Mike stares at Joey.

Mike: Wow, She's good.

Joey: I'm scared.

At Matt's house

Matt's phone is constantly giving off it's message alert noise.

Emma: Who is that?

Matt: A few people, Adam talking to me about the basketball game at school in a couple of weeks, and how I should use play 5 more because Lyle kept getting left open by the opposition defence. That Sean kid telling me how He's going to kill my family in their sleep. And finally my Dad sending loads of pics of this new sub-machine gun that they've brought in which he predicts could...(checks his phone)...pop 25 Jihadis a minute.

Emma: Sean keeps saying He's going to kill your family? Why?

Matt: His nose is still wonky. You would think that he would recognise that I could hammer him despite his height advantage.

Emma: Ok...Wait what!? Your Dad is sending you pictures of classified army weapons.

Matt: Well there British issue so they're not classified, they're(air quoting) "Official secrets".

Emma(still shocked): Wow!, all I've got on my phone is Erica asking about what shoes she should wear to the dance.

Matt: When your Dad is the British army representative in the united states, there are benefits, even if I don't get to see him very often, and even if he has had to move across the world constantly every five years.

Emma: I like how you see the positives in everything.

Matt and Emma kiss.

Emma: Do you think we do that too much?

Matt: Other people might think so, but they're not part of it are they? If they knew what your mouth tasted like, they would feel a lot different.

Theme Song

Joey is walking around the kitchen, when he suddenly hears a noise coming from upstairs. Joey runs to the bottom of the stairs. What he sees at the top of the stairs makes him scream.

Joey then wakes up in his bed and sits up. His scream also woke Alisha.

Alisha: What is it Joey? You keep waking in then middle of the night.

Joey; There was this Racoon...

Alisha: Joey stop using that to lie, I need to know, I've got my first audition in 6 months at 8 AM tomorrow. I need ton hear the truth.

Joey: No, there was this 7 feet tall racoon chasing me!

Alisha sighs and collapses into her pillow.


	8. The one at School

_New episode. A bit of a filler chapter before a speial two-parter. Enjoy anyways. Thanks for the continued support from 4everMondler._

Episode 8 The one at School

Emma, Matt, Jack and Erica are walking to school with their friends Adam and Ashley

Matt: Come on you two, when are you going to hook up.

Ashley: Stop it Matt! We're just friends.

Matt: It starts as Friends, then you start to tell each other everything, and then you make out...

Erica: What's your problem Matt? You've gone 15 seconds since we knocked on Adam, and you're already making jokes about them being Friends with benefits.

Ashley stares at Erica.

Matt: This therapist bloke in Aus said that I had this thing because I don't see one of my parents very often with Dad being in the army. Apparently I use humour as a something...

Jack: Defence mechanism?

Matt: Yeah that's it.

Erica: oh my God!

Matt: What?

Emma: You're a hot version of Chandler!

Matt: Aww, thanks Emma.

Matt goes to kiss Emma.

Emma: You think that's a good thing?

Matt: Sorry, I'll try and be less hot from now on...

Theme song

Joey is auditioning for a part in a movie.

Joey(in character): Listen Riley, who cares about that? I love you. Do you love me?

Woman(playing Riley during audition): yes but...

Joey: Then we've got everything we need. Who cares about what people think?

Director: Cut. Well done Joey, I think we'll be seeing you again.

Outside The kids' school

Emma: Matt and Ashley, you're in my Chemistry class aren't you?

Matt: yeah we are.

Ashley: Why?

Emma: Have you done the homework?

Ashley: Of course Ems.

Matt: No.

Emma: oh my God Mr Egbert is actually going to kill you. You can't use charm on him like you can on Miss Hutchinson.

Matt: oh well, he's killed me plenty of times before, part of me thinks that he's crap at killing.

Emma: You need to try in everything, not just sport!

Matt: I'm not going to be scientist am I? Can you imagine (begins imitating a TV presenter)

And today we are going to hear from some of the finest scientific minds in the world. Dr Kim Yong, Dr Leopold Yale and of course the finest in the world: Dr Matt Waterman.

Emma walks to her locker shaking her head.

Jack and Matt begin to pass a basketball back and forth.

Miss Hutchinson: No basketball inside Jack and... oh it's you Matt.

Matt(smiling): I'm sorry Miss

Miss Hutchinson: That's Ok.

Jack: How did you do that?

Matt: Number one girls lesson- always be polite and smile. At least one eye on their face

Jack: But she's a teacher. She must be at least 25.

Matt: 23 actually. She told me before we kissed after my first Spanish lesson.

Jack: I don't know how you do it.

Matt: Practice Bud. See you at Lunch.

Jack: Hold up man. I need some advice.

Matt: On What?

Jack: What do you think? Science?

Matt: true.

Jack: Anyways, You know the girl Erica keeps teasing me about?

Matt: Julie Holder?

Jack: Yeah.

Matt: The one that you want to bang in the gym showers. I'm familiar.

Jack stares at Matt.

Jack: bite me!

Matt: Sorry, what do you need me to do?

Jack: Could you give me some tips? You know... to make her like me.

Matt: She's the one that looks like... Joey's girlfriend but with Lighter hair right? (Jack nods)Well what you need to do is start talking to her rather than just staring at her boobs, I know they're the biggest in your class, but apparently they like you to fall for their personality. So try and have few conversations, and then ask her out after you have her trust but before she has a boyfriend or before you fall into the zone.

Jack: ok, how about asking her.

Matt: Just be natural.

Jack: Really?

Matt: No there are two approaches that could work for you. You have quite a young looking face so you could go for the nerves. That's where you go for the fake nervous looking approach which makes them feel really good about themselves.

Jack: I don't know about that one. I kind of wanted something a bit more...Macho.

Matt: Ok then picky, then you should get in and get out. That is there favourite though.

Jack: Is that what you do with Emma?

Matt stares at Jack

Matt: Your cousin?

Jack: oh yeah.

Matt: What you do is try and be quick, "hey Julie, listen (take a pause) I think you're really hot and you're probably the nicest girl in the class. Do you want to go out some time?" And you have the Boobies to stare at for ages, maybe even touch.

Emma(walking past): They're Breasts actually.

Matt: Don't be too much of a feminist, you'll end up a Fat, hairy lesbian.

Emma shakes her head before slapping Matt round the head and beginning to walk off

Emma: Hang on your talking about Julie aren't you?

Matt: no we're talking about me getting you and your big boobies.

Emma: ok.

Emma walks off

Matt: you better not screw this up, then Adam will have to get with Ashley to not feel left out whilst we're getting laid.

Matt and Emma's Chemistry class

Mr Egbert: so who hasn't got their homework today

Matt and one other boy raise their hands.

Mr Egbert: Harper, why don't you have yours.

Boy: My...er...printer wasn't working.

Mr Egbert: you have detention at lunch. Waterman why don't you have yours

Matt(leaning back on his chair): I didn't do it.

Mr Egbert: Why not?

Matt: because I would rather have keistered a pineapple.

The whole class burst into laughter apart from Emma, who shakes her head.

Mr Egbert: you also have detention at Lunch Waterman. I'll also be seeing you at the end for a chat.

Matt: Cool what are we talking about. Our days so far? I'll go first. I spent ten minutes talking about why I haven't done some homework, then I learned about loads of stuff we can't even see and is about as useful as a hill climber with heavy asthma.

Mr Egbert: I don't want to hear anymore Waterman.

At the end of the lesson

Mr Egbert: Waterman, I have to give it to you, you are very clever. But you need to try if you are to achieve your potential in chemistry.

Matt: But I don't care about Chemistry.

Mr Egbert: How often do we have this conversation?

Matt: About as often as Kerry Katona ovulates?

Mr Egbert: Is she the British one with five Children and six abortions?

Matt: yeah.

Mr Egbert: You're funny Waterman, but you're grades are very inconsistent. I can see you spend a lot of time playing your sport, I watched you at your basketball match, and I have to say you're very good. I need you to stop disrupting the class though. I don't mind this minimal effort to an extent, because you are obviously talented in other areas. But don't affect others.

Matt: Ok Sir, one question, What do you do in your spare time?

Mr Egbert: mark papers, and read scientific journals.

Matt: Wild! Anyway, do you see family much?

Mr Egbert: Not really. My Wife drives me crazy though. She's an absolute soap opera nut.

Matt: Soaps huh. Does she watch Days of our Lives?

Mr Egbert: Yes it's her favourite. Why?

Matt: Because Emma's parents are incredibly close friends with one of the actors. I'm sure I could get her to meet him. As a thank you for understanding my needs.

Mr Egbert: Who?

Matt: Joey Tribbiani, plays Dr Drake Ramoray.

Mr Egbert: He's her favourite. Thank you Waterman. Have a good Recess. I'll still be seeing you for detention though.

Joey and Alisha's

Joey: Hi babe, I'm back

Alisha: Hi honey. How was the audition?

Joey: great, unless Tom Cruise can pull something out the bag then it's mine.

Alisha: I'm so proud of you.

Joey; They even asked me if I wanted a choice of co-star to play Riley.

Alisha: Who did you recommend?

Joey: I said Alex McGregor or Emma Watson. They will suit the role of the hot younger woman perfectly.

Alisha: So like me in the real world?

Joey kisses Alisha.

Joey: Never as good as you. Younger than you, but not as good as you.

In the School canteen

Adam: So how did Your conversation with Eggers go?

Matt: Quite well actually. I need to let his wife meet Joey though. She's a soap opera nut apparently.

Jack: So you're using our uncle as a way of making him like you.

Erica: Because you don't want to kiss him.

Matt: Exactly.

Erica: Jack stop staring at Julie's breasts.

Adam: Jack wants those nipples. He likes those boobies.

Ashley: Can't you call them breasts?

Adam: No.

The guys start laughing.

The conversation is interrupted by a large Boy approaching the table.

Boy: Here you are Hotshot Waterman.

Matt: And you are?

Boy: The captain of the football team. The strongest kid in the class.

Emma: That's quite a long name, so I don't think you should change it. Sean was fine anyway.

Matt high fives Emma.

Boy(Sean): Shut up.

Matt: What Does Raggett the school big boy want today?

Sean: I heard about your (air quoting)"Hilarious" comment today. It proves to me that you'll end up living on the street.

Matt: As opposed to your high end Job at McDonalds...

Sean: I don't even want to talk to you.

Matt: Sorry then I'll go back to my table...Oh wait, it's here.

Sean: go die you little Asshole.

Matt: I will, but I'd love to finish my sandwich first.

Sean: You'll definitely be poor when you're older, you won't be able to nick your clothes from a Gypsy anymore.

Matt: I'm trying to eat here.

Sean: With younger kids, ugly ones as well. Gay Bing and Slut Bing.

Matt(Slightly angrier): You don't want a fight with me.

Sean: No, then I would have to fight you and your girlfriend. Emma Geller- the raging whore.

Matt shoots up and stares into Sean's eyes.

Matt: Say that again to my face.

Sean: Your Girlfriend is a whore.

Sean then takes a swing at Matt but misses. Matt punches Sean to the ground. Sean jumps up and punches Matt so that his nose bleeds and also gives Matt a small cut above his eye.

Matt: That's it.

Matt leaps at Sean and Punches him right in the temple before kicking him to the ground. He then picks him up and carries him outside. The whole of the crowd that had gathered in the canteen follow him. There he slams Sean into a locker multiple times. Matt walks back into the canteen without even looking at the boy that was now led on the floor bleeding from multiple places.

Speakers: Matthew Waterman to the principals office please.

Matt(to his friends): here goes.

Theme Song

Principals office.

Principal: So why did you attack Sean Raggett unprovoked?

Matt: unprovoked! Are you joking with me?

Principal: Yes Sean said that...

Matt: Well he was lying, he walked over to my table unprovoked and began insulting my Friends. He also took the first swing.

Principal: You're still in trouble.

Matt: Why? Because I Won?

Principal: Well...um...it's just.

Matt: I need to start losing these fights... I'll ring Chandler. He knows all about how to do that.


	9. The one with the concert part 1

New episode finally out. hope you enjoy it!

Episode 9 The one with the concert part 1

Joey and Alisha's

Alisha(panting): I'm never prepared for that...You're...You're incredible. I can't imagine what you must have been like in your twenties.

Joey: I was good. It's my only talent so I make the most of it.

Alisha: that's not true, you're a talented actor as well.

Joey: Yeah right.

Alisha: No joey, you're a genuinely a good actor now, and you should be proud.

Joey holds his phone out to Alisha.

Joey: Can you repeat that now.

Alisha motions the phone down.

Alisha; No you really are, we all believe it really, we just like making fun of you

Joey: Really?

Alisha: No you're terrible

Joey looks down, deflated.

Alisha: Joking Joe!

Ross and Rachel's house – in Emma's room.

Matt: Hi babe.

Emma: Hi Matty, how was it?

Matt: Good, no suspension or anything anymore.

Emma: That's great. Can I ask you something though?

Matt: Always.

Emma: Well, once you had punched Sean, why did you pick him up and slam him against the lockers?

Matt: He'd insulted three people I care about in the most horrible of ways. He can die and I wouldn't mourn.

Emma: You're turning more into Uncle Joey.

Matt: How? Defending people I care about?

Emma: yeah, how didn't you get suspended though? I hope you weren't kissing the principal!

Matt: No actually, your parents came in. Talked about loads of incredible stuff you had told them about me. Joey came in with them as well and talked about how much he trusts Me. You advertised me to them very well.

Emma(blushing): Well...I guess it's because I like you.

Matt: Like me? Well guess what Geller, I don't "like" you. I love you.

Emma: Geller-Green

Matt stares at Emma

Emma: I love you too.

Emma and Matt smile at each other.

Matt: Anyway, what time are we leaving to go to the concert.

Emma: traffic in the city might be quite bad, 7 30?

Matt: Sounds good. I think I should go.

Emma: or you could stay...

Matt smiles before leaning in to Emma.

Matt: If I stay I need to do something I enjoy.

Emma kisses Matt.

Emma: You like that?

Matt: The best, I think I'll stay for... another couple of hours.

Emma: I like it when you do that. Can I ask you something? (Matt nods) Well, do you ever think about us two...you know... doing it?

Matt: All the time, why?

Emma: I know we're only 15, so not yet, but I would love to get a chance in the quite near future.

Matt: Age shouldn't hold us back Ems, I agree though not yet. Not because of age just because it's not the time yet.

Emma: So you would be happy doing it at our age.

Matt(looking uncomfortable suddenly): Well...I kind of already have...twice.

Emma: Really? When?

Matt: My last week in Australia I let myself go a bit, and ended up having sex with two different girls.

Emma: Wow! When we get to that stage you'll be very good then.

Matt: I hope so.

Emma: Wow, you were 14. That's the second youngest I've heard from someone close to me.

Matt: Who?

Emma: Joey, he was 9.

In a doctor's room.

Monica: Are you ready to see our baby?

Chandler: Actually I was wondering if you wanted an abortion?

Monica stands up and hits Chandler.

Monica: If...you.

Chandler: Sorry Mon, just joking

Monica: Don't you dare joke.

Chandler: Pregnancy hormones...

Monica: No you're just being a...a... you know what, I'm not going to repeat it. Do you know why?

Chandler: Why? Never met him. Is he the blonde one?

Monica: You're one of those away from a sex embargo.

Chandler: You're one of them away from... I got nothing.

Monica: I know! Now try to be serious for a short time whilst we see our baby.

Chandler(dripping with sarcasm): Oh yeah, we don't want the baby to hear any sarcasm.

Monica: Just...

Monica clenches her fists before walking into the doctor's room.

Emma's room 

Emma: I like you, and I like it

Matt: I know, it's great

A knock is heard at the door.

Matt: I think we should stop kissing for a second.

Emma: Ok, (louder)Come in.

Ross walks in.

Ross: Hi you two. Do you want to stay for a takeout Matt?

Matt: I could stay, I was only going to have some leftovers anyway.

Ross: Ok, I'll order some more.

Matt: Do you want me to pay for mine?

Ross: No don't worry about it. You probably don't have that much anyway.

Matt: Working 15-20 hours a week tax free you'd be surprised.

Ross: make the most, Rach got her first job at 24 so she had the government taking some of it.

Emma: If she had got off her butt, instead of courting orthodontists then she would have got one.

Matt: Was she really like that?

Ross: Yeah, no sane people apart from Monica liked her.

Emma: Yeah, Dad didn't like her. Just loved her.

Ross: ...No I didn't...you did!

Emma: He was cool about it as well.

Matt: Sorry, the bit I don't understand is how the woman that threw a bat at me when I beat her at ping-pong is 'sane'.

At the doctors

The baby comes up on the screen.

Monica: Oh my God our baby!

Chandler: I know.

Monica: Just think, in a few months time, we'll have our own baby.

Chandler: I can't believe this is happening.

Doctor: So you're due date should be about January 6th.

Chandler(holding his head): Dear God!

Monica: What?

Chandler: I'm going to be nearly fifty!

Monica: And?

Chandler: We'll be chasing after our kid in our late 60's.

Monica: Well if you let me get you fit...

Chandler: Our kid is going to say to it's friends "hey, my dad's old enough to be your Grandad!"

Monica stands up because the appointment is now finished, but Chandler runs of in to the toilets.

Monica: Chandler!

In Phoebe's cab

Emma: Thanks Pheebs for taking us in your cab, the buses always break down at the wrong times.

Phoebe: No problem Emma, it gets me away from the scream fest Ellie is having about her homework.

Emma: It can't be as bad as mine surely?

Phoebe: Not even close, I'm surprised Ross didn't want to put you up for adoption after you said science was for losers.

Emma: I was quite lucky with that one.

Phoebe: So Matt, did you ever have scream fests about homework when you first started getting it?

Emma: He still has them now.

Matt: In the words of Chandler Bing "That is so NOT true"

Phoebe: I like you, your impression is nearly as good as Joey's "Look at me I'm Chandler, could I BE wearing anymore clothes?"

Matt laughs.

Matt: You're fun.

Phoebe: Well yeah.

Monica + Chandler's

Monica: Stop freaking out!

Chandler: Ok, I'll just be fine with being an old man Father. I was only choosing to freak out.

Monica: Listen Chandler, everyone, you included, thought that you were going to be a terrible parent, and you've turned out great.

Chandler: Well at least I'll be able to beat them with my old man stick.

Monica: Chandler, be serious for a moment, you're a great Dad, and you will be again.

Chandler: I'll be a great dad waving to my child as it leaves for college, I'll make sure the nurses let me out of the home for the day...

Monica sighs.

Monica: Joey will probably be your age by the time he has kids.

Chandler: Yes but Alisha is 8 years younger than him and he's a lot more athletic than me.

Monica: But Joey will be a useless parent in other ways.

Chandler: I don't know, he was pretty damn good for the chick and the duck.

Monica: Does Joey still believe that both generations are at the "non-visiting farm"

Chandler: Yeah he does, I don't know what he would have done if he had found them dead not me.

Phoebe's cab

Emma: Just here's great Pheebs.

Phoebe: Ok have fun.

Emma: Thanks Pheebs.

Emma and Matt get out of the cab.

Matt: Radio city is just there and we have...two minutes until "We Cry" starts, run!

Emma and Matt run inside and hand over their tickets.

Inside the hall

Emma: Here we are, front row. Yey!

Matt: They're just starting.

Danny O'Donoghue: Hi everyone thanks for coming, first up is We Cry, our first ever single, enjoy the show.

"Together We Cry

Together We Cry

Jenny was a poor girl, living in a rich world. Named her baby Hope when she was just 14 She was hoping for a better world, for this little girl but the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree."

Emma: I like this one, it's one of my favs

Matt: I know.

Emma: I love you

Matt: I love myself as well.

Emma buries her head into Matt.

Emma: I love you.

Matt: I love you too.

Emma: This is amazing, thank you so much

Joey's house

Chandler: Joe help me!

Joey: There are some Viagra in your cupboard if you need it man...

Chandler: You're about as helpful as gills in the mountains

Joey: Sorry man, what do you need?

Chandler: I'm worried man. I've realised I'll be 67 by the time my kid leaves high school!

Joey: And?

Chandler: I'll be the oldest Dad in the world!

Joey: I'll overtake you soon.

Chandler: What?

Joey: Me and Alisha are going to start trying if I get this movie role, once I know where the money for a child's coming from.

Chandler: Wow Joe, really?

Joey: I know I won't be the best Dad...

Chandler: Joe, you won't be a bad dad. In fact, I think you'll be the best Dad.

Joey: Really?

Chandler: yeah you're fun

Joey: And I have parental experience.

Chandler: Joe...

Joey: What?

Chandler: Don't worry.

At the Concert

Matt: Yes it's Exit Wounds.

Emma: I haven't heard this one.

Matt: Not a true fan...

Emma: Hey! Just because I don't listen to every single song every single day!

Matt: Is that a bad thing, and it's not just them, The Fray, Coldplay...

Emma: I get the message, I like this song though.

Matt: It's great, love you

Matt kisses Emma.

Emma: We should do this.

Matt(clutching his eye): Ouch!

Emma: What is it?

Matt: All this money falling from the sky keeps hitting me!

Theme song

Monica and Chandler's

Joey(running into the room): Ross is mean!

Chandler: Don't worry little Joseph, I'll keep him behind at recess.

Joey: He said that the chick and the duck don't count as parenting

Chandler(faking shock):He didn't!

Joey: I know, just coz he knocked up a lesbian. (Joey then looks up) I dream of knocking up a lesbian, or two.


	10. The one with the concert part 2

New episode finally up. Sorry for the delay. Lots of technical issues and School Coursework. All songs belong to The Script. it'd be great to play the songs as they are featured to help with the experience. enjoy and please review.

Episode 10 The one with the concert part 2

Matt(singing): Before this goes over the edge, gonna use my heart and not my head.

Emma: Stop singing.

Matt: Why? I'm good.

Emma: I know, but singing the songs is Danny's job, not yours. You listen!

Matt: I don't care (turns away) Coz if you go, I go.

Emma suddenly jumps in shock.

Emma: Danny just smiled at me!

Matt suddenly jumps in shock, just like Emma did.

Emma: What?

Matt: There was an alien! And he... he... ahhhhh!

Emma: He did, honest to God!

Matt(sarcastically): Someone that doesn't believe in God just said honest to God! Now I believe them!

Theme song

Joey's spare room

Chandler: Noooo! I was so close!

Joey: Still not defeating the Fireball King!

Jack: You can play him again Dad. There's a chance you might beat him.

Monica(Shouting):No he isn't!

Joey: Why not?

Monica: Him and Jack were meant to be shopping for maternity clothes on Joey's computer!

Joey: But you're going to be the fat one, not him! And I would never let anyone else use my computer, I never delete my search history...

Monica: That must be so difficult for him! Chandler and Jack come over here!

Chandler smiles.

Monica: Not that way!

Chandler sighs,

Chandler: I get pedicures!

Monica: you don't need to tell Joey that.

Chandler: yes I do, you would tell him anyway.

Monica: That's usually the case, but Joey knows anyway.

Chandler: No he doesn't

Chandler looks round at Joey, who just nods his head.

Chandler: I need to go home watch some football or something.

Joey: That'd be great except football season finished two months ago.

Chandler: I knew that...

Jack: And we don't even get ESPN because all you watch are beauty shows anyway.

Chandler: Not helping son.

Joey: Dude! Beauty shows?

Chandler: Well my complexion is slightly...

Jack hits Chandler round the head.

Jack: Get it together Dad, your Manliness is falling away so much your balls are actually going to fall off in a minute

At the concert

Matt(checking the programme): Only three left.

Emma: Which ones?

Matt: Breakeven, Before the Worst and For the First time.

Emma: Yay!

Danny: I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, Just praying to a god that I don't believe in, Cos I got time whilst she got Freedom, cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even. (Emma leans into Matt's chest and he puts his arms around her)

Her best days will be some of my worst, she finally met man that's gonna put her first, while I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping, cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you eh, What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok, I'm falling to pieces...yeah, I'm falling to pieces yeah.

Emma: This has been the best, thank you so much.

Matt: No problem, I'm too in love with you to care that this whole thing will probably cost me 220 bucks!

Emma: I thought it was just 200? And I love you to.

Matt: Probably costing me 20 for the bus tickets back.

Emma: I still love you.

Matt: I know, it's great.

Emma: Oh great.

Matt: What?

Emma: My Mom can't pick me up until about an hour and a half after we get back.

Matt: You can stay the night if you want?

Emma: I need to be up early tomorrow, they want me to be home tonight.

Matt: Ok, you can just sit in my room and we can talk about you and Danny's relationship.

Emma: Don't worry about me being there, just do what you do most Saturday nights.

Matt stares at Emma.

Matt: Ok, great, do you want to watch the Lesbian porn with me or just listen from behind my laptop.

Emma: Well... Talking sounds great.

Matt: That's what I thought.

Emma: About the money though, I could get Pheebs to come back and take us home.

Matt: If she came back and collected us she would've spent about 4 hours straight driving, that's not really fair on her, I'm not exactly broke anyway as I never spend anything.

Emma: That's not true, you gave a boy at school 10 bucks the other day.

Matt: That was a loan that he had to pay back, with interest

Emma: you're the tightest person I've ever met.

Matt: Whose the least tight?

Emma: Chandler, Joey owes him about 8000 Dollars.

Matt: But Joey's a big star now, surely he can afford to pay it back.

Emma: They just decided to forget about the money when it went past 6000.

Matt: Wow! I could never just let someone off paying 5 bucks, let alone 8000.

Emma: My point exactly, but why don't we stop and listen for a bit?

Matt: Sounds like a plan.

Danny: Thank you so much you've been amazing all night, two more to go. Before the Worst now.

It's been a while since the two of us talked  
About a week since the day that you walked  
Knowing things would never be the same  
With your empty heart and mine full of pain  
So explain to me, how it came to this  
Take it back to the night we kissed  
It was Dublin city on a Friday night  
With vodkas and coke, I was Guinness all night

We were sitting with our backs against the world  
Saying things that we thought but never heard  
Oh, who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Is trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong

There was a time, that we'd stay up all night  
Best friends, yeah, talking 'til the daylight  
Took the joys alongside the pain  
With not much to lose but so much to gain  
Are you hearing me? 'Cos I don't wanna miss,  
That you would drift on memory bliss  
It was Grafton Street on a rainy night  
I was down on one knee and you were mine for life

We were thinking we would never be apart  
With your name tattooed across my heart  
Oh, who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Is trying to take it back before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong

If the clouds don't clear  
Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it  
Heaven's gate is so near  
Come walk with me through  
Just like we used to, just like we used to

Let's take it back  
Before it all went wrong

Before the worst, before we met  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong

Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong

Matt and Emma kiss.

Emma: This is amazing.

Matt: There's still more to come.

Danny: Final song New York, join in with us in the chorus.

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,  
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,  
And we don't know how,  
How we got into this mad situation,  
Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,  
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,  
And we don't know how,  
How we got into this mess  
Is it a God's test?  
Someone help us 'cos we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by

Crowd: Drinking old cheap bottles of wine, Shit talking up all night,  
Saying things we haven't for a while  
A while, yeah,  
We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
Even after all these years,  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Danny: Oooooo, Oooooo, Oooooo

She's in line at the dole with her head held high,  
While I just lost my job but  
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,  
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,  
When you pick yourself up,  
You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,  
Man, these times are hard,

But we're gonna start by

Crowd: Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,  
Shit talking up all night,  
Doing things we haven't for a while,  
A while yeah,  
We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
Even after all these years,  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.

Danny: Ooooo, Ooooo, Ooooo

Yeah...

Crowd: Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,  
Shit talking up all night,  
Saying things we haven't for a while,  
We're smiling but we're close to tears,  
Even after all these years,  
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

Ooooo,.. yeah, for the first time  
Ooooo,.. oh, for the first time,  
Yeah for the first time,  
(Just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time)

Oh these times are hard,  
Yeah, they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby.

Oh these times are hard,  
Yeah, they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard,  
Yeah, they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby

Oh these times are hard,  
Yeah, they're making us crazy  
Don't give up on me baby.

Danny: Thank you so much New York! You were the best.

Band bows.

Emma: Thank you so much Matt, This was the best.

Back at Matt's house

Emma: What was wrong with that guy?

Matt: I don't know, but it was weird because we didn't even know him.

Emma: I knew about him if you know what I mean.

Matt: I know! He was spitting like cobra!

Emma: Wanna kiss?

Matt: Sounds good to me.

Matt and Emma begin to kiss, Emma then begins to fiddle with Matt's clothes.

Matt: Hold up. Stop teasing me.

Emma stares into Matt's eyes.

Emma: I'm not teasing you.

Matt: You so are.

Emma: I'm not, just watch and you'll believe me.

Matt: This is an elaborate joke.

Emma: I need to prove this to you.

Matt: Well there's no way that...

Emma pushes Matt onto the bed and kisses him more passionately.

Emma: Believe it now?

Matt: I do now...But also kinda don't believe it.

Matt flips Emma over.

Matt: I'll be easy as it's your first time.

Emma: Do whatever you want

Matt(still removing some of Emma's clothes): Trust me, I will.

The look on Emma's face changes.

Matt: What's wrong? If you don't want to then that's fine

Emma: No I do, I'm just a bit worried about what people will think.

Matt: Don't tell them then.

half an hour later

Emma: Wow! That was just...just

Matt: it was. The other two times were awful compared to that.

Emma: I thought people only lasted that long in the movies. You know, it's still 45 minutes until my Mom gets here. We could go again, only this time I'll be used to it. So be as rough as you want.

Matt: I do like that idea.

Emma's phone beeps.

Emma: Don't worry, that's probably just my operator. They keep asking me to get an upgrade on my data usage or something.

Matt: Ok.

Emma's phone reads:

 _Mom: We left early, I'll be there in half an hour._

Matt: I love you.

Emma: Enough of that, do the licking thing again, that was awesome!

Downstairs at Matt's

Door opens.

Rachel: Hello...anyone in? They're probably listening to music or something. I'll go check on them.

In Matt's room

Matt and Emma are sat on Matt's bed, Matt is just wearing some underwear, Emma is just wearing her Bra and underwear and is beginning to get re-dressed.

Emma: Oh God! That was Good!

Matt: I'm happy I've satisfied you.

Emma: Can your Mom be at a friends and your Dad be working a lot more?

Matt: I'll see what I can do.

Rachel walks in.

Rachel: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Theme Song

Jack: Why are you on Wikipedia looking at Football players stats?

Chandler: I'm going out for some beers with Ross and Joey. I need to be able to at least pretend I know what's going on.

Jack: We could get ESPN.

Chandler: At like 40 bucks a month or whatever it is? Dream on, skin shows are much better value anyway.

Jack: And you wonder why they rib you?


	11. The one after you know

Sorry for posting this chapter late, been ill all week. Please, Please, Please review, even if it's bad(I hope it's not) because bad reviews that offer constructive advice could help me improve it and make it a story you do want to read. Thanks! Anyway...here it is:

Episode 11 The one after...you know

 _Last time on friends_

 _Emma: Oh God! That was Good!_

 _Matt: I'm happy I've satisfied you._

 _Emma: Can your Mom be at a friends and your Dad be working a lot more?_

 _Matt: I'll see what I can do._

 _Rachel walks in._

 _Rachel: AHHHHHHHHHH!_

Theme Song

Rachel: What...What...What?

Emma: Well, um, we kinda.

Rachel: I know exactly what you did (Rachel picks up a condom from the floor) I can see for myself.

Matt: Um, Mrs Geller.

Rachel: Get your excuses out now Matt.

Matt: Ok, but I was going to say that you should put that down, you're daughter got her looks from you and you are...

Rachel: Stop sucking up to me.

Emma: He's not Mom, your on his list.

Rachel: What?

Emma: Yeah we have lists already.

Rachel: Oh well, that's not the problem here. You two...You two!

Emma: Is it so bad Mom?

Rachel: Did you just ask that?

Emma: Listen Mom, we love each other, we were doubly protected because you got me on the pill and...well, we love each other.

Rachel: But you're 15. I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex until marriage because, lets face it, that's not happening but...

Matt: Excuse me. Wasn't my first time.

Rachel: Sure that'll help you in court of Ross Geller.

Emma: I'd like to think we're very mature for our age, and, I love him so much.

Rachel: Ok, but I'm still telling your Father.

Emma: Please don't.

Matt: She has to Emms, but let me come defend myself.

Rachel: He'll kick your butt Matt.

Matt stares at Rachel.

Rachel: Ok, he'll try and you'll kick his but it's all the same. I'll try and put in a good word for you.

Matt: Ok thanks.

Rachel: Finish getting dressed then honey, I'll go get in the car.

Emma puts the rest of her clothes on and walks to the door.

Emma: No matter how wrong their making it seem, it was still awesome.

Matt: I know, now good luck, you'll need it.

Emma leaves.

In the car

Rachel: So Emma, we both know the next bit's not going to be great, so lets have the fun bit now. How was he?

Emma: I obviously have nothing to compare it to but, wow!

Rachel: Really? No pain?

Emma: He was really gentle the first time, and then the second time, bang!

Rachel: More than once?

Emma: Well we started over an hour before you caught us.

Rachel: You must have done it three or four times then.

Emma; No twice.

Rachel: He lasted how long?

Emma: About half an hour each time.

Rachel: That's longer than... you know if I finish this sentence you will throw up so... I won't.

Emma: Are you telling Dad right away.

Rachel: I think I should get it out of the way to be honest.

Emma: Yeah. (Emma thinks for a moment) Well, actually Mom, can I tell Dad myself?

Rachel: Sure honey, why though?

Emma: If I'm honest then Matt might wake up alive.

At the Gellers house

Ross: Hi Emma, how was it?

Emma: it was awesome Dad. But I need to confess something to you.

Ross: What is it?

Emma: Well... Mom walked in, and, Matt and I were... having sex.

Ross stares for a moment.

Ross: What?!

Emma: I'm sorry Dad, we were sat there and I just felt so... and I just love him so much... and it felt right.

Ross: he's getting a butt-ki...

Emma: Dad, firstly he'd kick your ass to the ground, and secondly, I threw myself at him. He was just kissing me, and, I started tugging at his pants and tried to take his shirt off and.

Ross: He's a horrible boy! You can never see him again.

Emma(starting to cry): I love him Dad!

Ross: I don't care! You can't see him.

Emma: But I..

Ross: YOU CAN'T!

Emma continues to cry. She suddenly picks up a toy car of Jamie's and throws it at him.

Ross: How dare you!

Emma: I thought you wanted me to be happy.

Emma runs out the door.

Rachel: Emma don't go!

Ross: I can't believe her

Rachel: Ross don't you think you're being a bit...

Ross: No I'm not! He could have made her pregnant! Condoms are only 97% effective.

Rachel: Ross, a couple of months ago I took Emma to the doctor and got Emma some birth control, just in case.

Ross: How? Emma's forms say that she needs two signatures to do anything significant,

Rachel: I took Joey as well.

Ross: Why didn't you take me? Why Joey?

Rachel: Because we didn't think you would agree to it. You'd say "Well she's not going to be having sex so..."

Ross: Well she's 15! Anyway we need to find her. Where has she gone?

Rachel: Probably Joey or Phoebe's.

Ross: Joey's is closer so we'll go there.

At Joey's

Emma(still crying) knocks on the door.

Alisha: Hi Emma, what's wrong?

Emma: Can I talk to Uncle Joey for a bit?

Alisha: yeah sure, Joey!

Emma walks in and sits next to Joey. Joey hugs Emma.

Joey: What's wrong?

Emma: Well, Matt and I had sex.

Joey: Cool, how was it.

Emma: Great, then my Mom walked in and saw us. When we got back she told Dad and he said that he was going to stop me seeing Matt again, and telling me how immature I was.

Joey: Really? All the stupid things Ross has done.

Door bursts open.

Ross: Joey! Is Emma here?

Emma grabs joey's arm.

Joey: Stay there sweetie.

Ross: Joey?

Joey: Come in here Ross

Ross walks in, and sees Emma, he begins to go towards her, but Joey grabs Ross.

Ross: Let me go!

Joey: Not a chance Ross! Stand there and talk to me about it, Alisha can you sit there with Emma.

Ross: Well she will have told you everything.

Joey: No explain your reasons Ross.

Ross: Well there 15, and, what if... he had no right, they're 15.

Joey: Emma told you and she told me! She threw herself at him. Let me paint a situation for you Ross.

Ross: Joey...

Joey: No! Too often I'm Mr nice guy. Let me tell you something. I know for a fact that if Rachel threw herself at you back in high school, you would have been inside her before she'd even finished speaking!

Ross: But that's just a hypothetical situation.

Joey: Well let me tell you something that did happen. You said the wrong name at the altar, you married Rachel in Vegas and then didn't get an annulment. Emma knows that she was only born because of a drunken mistake between you and Rachel! Some 15 year olds do stupid things Ross! But so do adults! And..

Door is heard opening.

Voice: Joey?

Ross: Is that Chandler?

Emma: Oh no!

Matt walks into the room.

Ross: You!

Joey grabs Ross.

Joey: Listen to what I said!

Monica and Chandler then walk in.

Monica: What is so loud in here?

Emma: Matt and I... had sex

Chandler: Score buddy!

Ross stares at Chandler.

Chandler: Well he's the one that slept with your daughter!

Matt: He must have slept with you sister at least...

Joey: Ross! Go and have a chat with Matt over there in a second. But first you need to apologise to Emma.

Ross: Emma baby, I'm sorry I got so mad, it's...I don't ever want you to get hurt.

Emma(motioning to Matt to sit next to her): I understand Dad, but Matt will never hurt me, he'll protect me. I've got a whole group of people here to protect me.

Ross: ok Emma, now Matt, I guess we should have a chat.

Matt: Ok... um... can I still call you Ross?

Ross: Dr Geller for a couple of days.

Matt: fair enough.

Emma: Uncle Joey, that was amazing. Thank you so much for that!

Joey: Don't worry, sometimes your Dad can be a bit difficult. But he's the best inside.

Rachel: That was incredible Joey. I didn't know you had that in you.

Joey: Well you know Rach, Me and Alisha were planning on having a little Joey time in the bathroom, but Ross looks busy talking to Matt. So do you want to join us?

Rachel: Just when I thought that you were growing up.

Joey(to Chandler): Worth a shot.

Chandler: True man.

Theme song

Monica and Chandler are led in bed talking about the events of the day.

Monica: In a couple of years time that becomes us.

Chandler: Not really.

Monica: Why not?

Chandler: When Jack first does it he'll get high fives all round with me.

Monica: And Erica?

Chandler: I'll pay her to wait until she's 16

Monica: And if she ignores you?

Chandler: I'll make an inappropriate joke and run off, what would you expect?


End file.
